5 months
Guess what Ash?!
I passed my PTA boards! Thank you for the support from above babe. I couldn't have done it without knowing that you would be here. As well as knowing how much hard work you always put toward everything.
Thank you for your Strength.
I wanted so bad to call you up yesterday to let you know... but I can't. You're not here. I don't mean to get emotional and sad. But, today marks 5 months since you've been gone.
Oh god I miss you.
Every day I on my way to work I drive by the elementary and picture the last time we were together; swinging on the swings.
It feels like forever since you've been gone.
But each day it hurts the same.
I feel like I've been holding on pretty good though. I am working as a PTA, I have been doing things I love and being around people that make me happy.
I've been dreading to face this week though. Waiting to find out if I passed my boards and also having it be the same day that marks your 5 month anniversary of being away from us. I couldn't let myself think about today. I was avoiding it at all cost and preparing for the worst.
How was I going to survive finding out that I failed my test on your 5 month mark?
How was I going to be able to function?
Was I going to call in sick to work?
How was I going to pay to take it again?
Would I lose my job?
All these thoughts ran through my mind a million times for about 4 days.
Then Sunday came, I was in Moab rock climbing. It was complete bliss. And I just had the most overwhelmingly peaceful and calming feeling come over me that everything was going to be ok and that I had passed my test.
I had no worries. I was able to go to work on Monday and be happy and finish my day with no problems.
So thank you babe. Thank you for watching over me.
For 5 months, I've been holding myself together in order to get through my board exam. Knowing that I couldn't let myself get too depressed because I had to pass. Now here we are.
I'm ready to live again. I want to have fun and be carefree and happy. I know that's what you would want me to do too.
So, I am going to do it. I am going to live my life through you.
I love you so much Ash.
I wish you were here. Everyday I wish I could have you back.
Thank you for your strength and headstrong attitude. It has helped me survive so far.
I passed my PTA boards! Thank you for the support from above babe. I couldn't have done it without knowing that you would be here. As well as knowing how much hard work you always put toward everything.
Thank you for your Strength.
I wanted so bad to call you up yesterday to let you know... but I can't. You're not here. I don't mean to get emotional and sad. But, today marks 5 months since you've been gone.
Oh god I miss you.
Every day I on my way to work I drive by the elementary and picture the last time we were together; swinging on the swings.
It feels like forever since you've been gone.
But each day it hurts the same.
I feel like I've been holding on pretty good though. I am working as a PTA, I have been doing things I love and being around people that make me happy.
I've been dreading to face this week though. Waiting to find out if I passed my boards and also having it be the same day that marks your 5 month anniversary of being away from us. I couldn't let myself think about today. I was avoiding it at all cost and preparing for the worst.
How was I going to survive finding out that I failed my test on your 5 month mark?
How was I going to be able to function?
Was I going to call in sick to work?
How was I going to pay to take it again?
Would I lose my job?
All these thoughts ran through my mind a million times for about 4 days.
Then Sunday came, I was in Moab rock climbing. It was complete bliss. And I just had the most overwhelmingly peaceful and calming feeling come over me that everything was going to be ok and that I had passed my test.
I had no worries. I was able to go to work on Monday and be happy and finish my day with no problems.
So thank you babe. Thank you for watching over me.
For 5 months, I've been holding myself together in order to get through my board exam. Knowing that I couldn't let myself get too depressed because I had to pass. Now here we are.
I'm ready to live again. I want to have fun and be carefree and happy. I know that's what you would want me to do too.
So, I am going to do it. I am going to live my life through you.
I love you so much Ash.
I wish you were here. Everyday I wish I could have you back.
Thank you for your strength and headstrong attitude. It has helped me survive so far.
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| The Fantastic Four <3 |
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