Love and Light
I was given a book the other day from a family friend because I have struggled with death and understanding death for the last few years. And after Ash was killed, I was so lost, broken, concerned, hysterical, in disbelief and extremely anxious at what this meant. First thoughts: My sister is dead and I will never see her again. My life has become a living hell. Why her? Why now? Why not me? This is not fair... I had all of these thoughts and words flood into my mind.
I was so confused and very depressed. I had lost any and all hope. And during the first several hours of realization that she would not be coming home, I was completely overcome by darkness and an extreme feeling of doom.
Well, that was two months ago. Two months! I cannot believe it has been two months since Ashley Ilene Hansen was killed. And I can't help but look at how far I have come. The changes that I've made in myself. The person I am today. Because I have her guiding me and watching over me.
This does not disregard that I don't miss Ash daily and that I don't think about her. I think about her constantly. Every day I miss her. But after reading this book titled, "What's On The Other Side?" by Brent L. Top; I have been able to have a different perspective about life and death and the after life.
I know there are many thoughts, ideas, beliefs of the after life. What is on the other side? What happens next after we die? Well to keep things short and to the point, this book gives the reader a feeling of hope and reassurance of what our loved ones are up to. Also, a little insight on what to expect once we reach the other side. What heaven will be like and what we will be doing. There were many accounts of near death experiences from several people with a myriad number of religious backgrounds. They had many thoughts in common. And all were saddened to return to their mortal bodies. However, I'm not going into depth due to respect of other's beliefs.
I was just overcome with a feeling of peace, love, and hope after reading this book.
They say that we have a change of heart after a traumatic experience or tragedy has happened to us. And we gain a new appreciation for what we have. It's kind of sad that it takes losing a loved one to get these feelings. We get so caught up in our routines and work that we forget what we have and how important and special these things or people are.
I guess what my mind set has become (or even more emphasized) is to live your life to the fullest. Take advantage of what you have (healthy body, job, family, friends). Because, we never know when it is going to be our time. Learn to have empathy, love, and live a life full of light and happiness. Embrace those around you and always tell them that you love and appreciate them for all they do, and who they are.
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| One of the last times the three of us were together |
And have fun!
Sure there will be those days that you don't feel like you can go on. All of us have those, and mine was two days ago. But always know that you have a crowd cheering you on. Allow them to help you.
Let love and light into your life.
I know Ash did. (Although, I saw the more grumpy and serious side of her ;) )
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