A New Year, A New Person, A New Spirit
Happy New Year!
Although I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions, I have some personal goals that I am setting for myself. Which when it comes down to it, I suppose those would be Resolutions. However, with everything that has happened the last few months, I have found myself again.
Maybe found isn't the right word, but I do feel like I have a more clear mind than I have had for a very long time. I feel at peace, I feel calm and I feel more able to cope with the events of breaking up with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years and the death of my baby sister. This year is going to be one where I finally put myself first. I haven't done that in a very long time and I don't know why. I guess I get caught up making sure everyone else is okay, as well as doing things for people to accept me. I have an amazing life ahead of me and amazing people by my side to support me and be there for me.
I have realized that it is a lot easier to go through this life with some help. Spiritual help. It has been over 5 years since I have had any religion in my life. I thought that it wasn't necessary. I thought that I could do everything completely alone. And I have found out that I don't have to. I can have help. And it's okay to accept that. It's okay to be spiritual.
Some people believe that life is life and then we die. To be lost in oblivion. It's really hard for me to completely accept that. My sister died 2 1/2 months ago. There has got to be a way to see her again. It doesn't make sense that I wouldn't be able to. And I know that God will allow me this wonderful blessing, to see my Ashley again! And I know that she is here with me, guiding me everyday. Leading me to where I need to be.
She is the only reason I decided to start this whole blogging thing. I needed a way to speak out. To get my thoughts and emotions out of my head, because it was becoming too much for me to handle alone. Too overwhelming. I realized I was living a dark life. Dark emotions. And wanting to be alone all the time.
With the grieving process, these emotions do come out and it is okay to have them. But eventually, you have to start living again. And that's what I am going to do. By turning to my Savior, I can live again. I can live a spiritual life and be PROUD of it! I don't have to let other's ideas or thoughts influence me. I can be me! And it's okay to do that.
I haven't been this happy in a very long time. I can see the difference of those who are spiritual and those who aren't. There is such a difference! It seems like those who aren't spiritual are missing something. They don't seem genuinely happy. But it's not for me to judge. I have just been able to visually see this difference.
But this also gives me hope. Hope that one day they too will be able to experience the feelings that I have been able to bring back into my life. If I can do it, then they can as well.
This year, I will get to start my career! See my sister marry her best friend in the Temple and spend more time with my family.
So,
Here's to a New Year! A New Person! and A New Spirit!
Love,
Brittany
Although I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions, I have some personal goals that I am setting for myself. Which when it comes down to it, I suppose those would be Resolutions. However, with everything that has happened the last few months, I have found myself again.
Maybe found isn't the right word, but I do feel like I have a more clear mind than I have had for a very long time. I feel at peace, I feel calm and I feel more able to cope with the events of breaking up with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years and the death of my baby sister. This year is going to be one where I finally put myself first. I haven't done that in a very long time and I don't know why. I guess I get caught up making sure everyone else is okay, as well as doing things for people to accept me. I have an amazing life ahead of me and amazing people by my side to support me and be there for me.
I have realized that it is a lot easier to go through this life with some help. Spiritual help. It has been over 5 years since I have had any religion in my life. I thought that it wasn't necessary. I thought that I could do everything completely alone. And I have found out that I don't have to. I can have help. And it's okay to accept that. It's okay to be spiritual.
Some people believe that life is life and then we die. To be lost in oblivion. It's really hard for me to completely accept that. My sister died 2 1/2 months ago. There has got to be a way to see her again. It doesn't make sense that I wouldn't be able to. And I know that God will allow me this wonderful blessing, to see my Ashley again! And I know that she is here with me, guiding me everyday. Leading me to where I need to be.
She is the only reason I decided to start this whole blogging thing. I needed a way to speak out. To get my thoughts and emotions out of my head, because it was becoming too much for me to handle alone. Too overwhelming. I realized I was living a dark life. Dark emotions. And wanting to be alone all the time.
With the grieving process, these emotions do come out and it is okay to have them. But eventually, you have to start living again. And that's what I am going to do. By turning to my Savior, I can live again. I can live a spiritual life and be PROUD of it! I don't have to let other's ideas or thoughts influence me. I can be me! And it's okay to do that.
I haven't been this happy in a very long time. I can see the difference of those who are spiritual and those who aren't. There is such a difference! It seems like those who aren't spiritual are missing something. They don't seem genuinely happy. But it's not for me to judge. I have just been able to visually see this difference.
But this also gives me hope. Hope that one day they too will be able to experience the feelings that I have been able to bring back into my life. If I can do it, then they can as well.
This year, I will get to start my career! See my sister marry her best friend in the Temple and spend more time with my family.
So,
Here's to a New Year! A New Person! and A New Spirit!
Love,
Brittany
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