Where Is The Love?
Every day I mourn Ashley's absence and the fact that she isn't here with my family and I. Every day I have to relive the reality that she won't be here. Five days ago was 10 months since her accident. Almost a year and I still mourn like it was yesterday. I have grown in those 10 months and have learned to not be so bitter about it. But there are times where it still isn't fair that she is gone... And it's a cruel reminder once you read on the news that two 18 year olds were killed in a head on collision yesterday.
My heart is more sad and broken for the families of these kids than I am with Ashley. It's only been one day since these kids lost their lives... And it reminds me of the day I found out about Ash... Here I am 10 months later and able to live life somewhat normal again. I am absolutely torn for what these families are going through. To even think about what I was going through the day after Ashley's accident makes me sick with heartache all over again.
Instances like this we cannot foresee or prepare ourselves for the disaster our lives will become.
The biggest lesson that I have learned in losing my sister, is to always, alway, always tell your family and friends you love them. Never leave them with bitterness. Never leave without saying sorry, and NEVER leave without saying "I love you". Three simple words that are never said enough. But they mean so much... especially after someone is gone.
With my personality... I am a giver, a fixer and a nurturer. I always put people before me and I always want to fix everything; even when it can't be fixed.
Switching gears here....
Working in healthcare and especially in Rehab; I work with a lot of people who are sick, injured or elderly. This means a couple things... some of these people may never get better, no matter how much therapy you do; and it is inevitable that some of these people will die. And you have to live with the fact that you can't fix everyone or everything.
So another lesson I have learned since losing Ashley: Always treat people with kindness. No matter how much they frustrate you, no matter how much you disagree... always, always, always speak kind words. Because in my field of work... You might be the last person that someone talks to before they pass away. Their last memory....
It seems lately with social media and with the news televising all of the terrorist attacks and shootings; that we get so used to people dying around us that it almost doesn't even phase us as a society anymore. It's almost "normal" for this shit to happen. And because we are imperfect humans... it will probably always happen.
We take to death so lightly like it isn't a big f**kin deal... a quote from a co-worker: "It's just the circle of life"... well yes, yes it is. It is inevitable... we will all die. But do we have to just write it off so easily?! My hell! These people were someone's "person", wife, father, sister, brother... Can we have a little compassion here???
It makes my heart sad.
Could Ashley's accident been prevented... Yes.
Do we blame anyone for it... No.
I still wish I knew the driver of the semi... I want to make sure he is ok. His life was also forever changed that night. I want to let him know that we are ok, and no we don't blame him.
I know I kind of jumped around... But maybe these thoughts and words will make a change in someone.
For whatever it is worth... My heart goes out to the families whose children were involved in the accident... even the driver who survived. I wish so much to take your pain away and tell you that everything will be ok. It is not easy and it will hurt for awhile. You are not alone.
But, we will see our family members again. This is not the end.
And with that said, I will live my life for Ashley and through her.
Live life the way she did:
Carefree
Full of love
Fearless
With determination to reach my goals
And taking pride in my accomplishments
Link to Eagle Mountain accident: http://www.ksl.com/?sid=41100425&nid=148&title=2-18-year-olds-killed-in-head-on-crash-in-eagle-mountain
Rest peacefully Simon and Hailie <3
My heart is more sad and broken for the families of these kids than I am with Ashley. It's only been one day since these kids lost their lives... And it reminds me of the day I found out about Ash... Here I am 10 months later and able to live life somewhat normal again. I am absolutely torn for what these families are going through. To even think about what I was going through the day after Ashley's accident makes me sick with heartache all over again.
Instances like this we cannot foresee or prepare ourselves for the disaster our lives will become.
The biggest lesson that I have learned in losing my sister, is to always, alway, always tell your family and friends you love them. Never leave them with bitterness. Never leave without saying sorry, and NEVER leave without saying "I love you". Three simple words that are never said enough. But they mean so much... especially after someone is gone.
With my personality... I am a giver, a fixer and a nurturer. I always put people before me and I always want to fix everything; even when it can't be fixed.
Switching gears here....
Working in healthcare and especially in Rehab; I work with a lot of people who are sick, injured or elderly. This means a couple things... some of these people may never get better, no matter how much therapy you do; and it is inevitable that some of these people will die. And you have to live with the fact that you can't fix everyone or everything.
So another lesson I have learned since losing Ashley: Always treat people with kindness. No matter how much they frustrate you, no matter how much you disagree... always, always, always speak kind words. Because in my field of work... You might be the last person that someone talks to before they pass away. Their last memory....
It seems lately with social media and with the news televising all of the terrorist attacks and shootings; that we get so used to people dying around us that it almost doesn't even phase us as a society anymore. It's almost "normal" for this shit to happen. And because we are imperfect humans... it will probably always happen.
We take to death so lightly like it isn't a big f**kin deal... a quote from a co-worker: "It's just the circle of life"... well yes, yes it is. It is inevitable... we will all die. But do we have to just write it off so easily?! My hell! These people were someone's "person", wife, father, sister, brother... Can we have a little compassion here???
It makes my heart sad.
Could Ashley's accident been prevented... Yes.
Do we blame anyone for it... No.
I still wish I knew the driver of the semi... I want to make sure he is ok. His life was also forever changed that night. I want to let him know that we are ok, and no we don't blame him.
I know I kind of jumped around... But maybe these thoughts and words will make a change in someone.
For whatever it is worth... My heart goes out to the families whose children were involved in the accident... even the driver who survived. I wish so much to take your pain away and tell you that everything will be ok. It is not easy and it will hurt for awhile. You are not alone.
But, we will see our family members again. This is not the end.
And with that said, I will live my life for Ashley and through her.
Live life the way she did:
Carefree
Full of love
Fearless
With determination to reach my goals
And taking pride in my accomplishments
Link to Eagle Mountain accident: http://www.ksl.com/?sid=41100425&nid=148&title=2-18-year-olds-killed-in-head-on-crash-in-eagle-mountain
Rest peacefully Simon and Hailie <3
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