The Dream

The dream. It comes every few months; of course it catches me off guard. Every. Single. Time.  Shantelle,  Kayla and I are together. And living the reality that you aren’t here. I can’t even place the “time”, like what our ages are. It’s such a sad dream and it feels so real. Like it is happening in real time. There isn’t a lot of detail of the dream, we’re just together. 

And out of nowhere, there you are. Alive, whole and you. Standing there. Like you were just gone for a short time and we were finally reunited. Your hair, your smile… your voice. All of us together again, like we were never apart and you had never left. 

The I wake up. And it sucks sooo bad. Because it was just a dream. Reality hits me and all those emotions of grief. Just a giant wave to remind me that you are gone. 

I try to think, why do you keep coming to me like this? Why the same scenario? And I hope that it’s you telling me that it will be ok. We’ll all be together again. And that you are always watching us. We will be at our best and our wholesome, happy selves. 

God I miss you. It feels like forever till I get to see you again. ❤️‍🩹