Parents.

 I’ve never had the best experience with supportive parents. And I am sorry if you guys read this and feel like it’s a gut shot or a stab. But I’ve always thought I might have the support of parents that congratulate you with every mile stone you hit: college graduation, marriage, buying your first home, having your first child… Yes,  you’ve been there and you’ve been present, but there has been a lack of emotion and love expressed during these events. I never feel like I can totally rely on my parents because they are so overworked, so over raising kids, and just tired. And it’s not completely your fault, but it’s hard as a child to accept that that’s all that you received from your parents.. 

I’m not gonna say that it’s a total letdown from the lack of support, because my life has been trial after trial after trial. So it’s really not that much of a surprise; but for once it would be nice to have the extra love and have the extra support. It really can’t be that hard to express your emotions, your love and how proud you are of your children’s accomplishments. 

I’m not going to go into detail because those of you who know me know of my childhood and how far I’ve come, and the progress I’ve made, and the changes I’ve done to be better and to be successful. I’ve literally changed the cycle for myself and my children and my future grandchildren, so they don’t have to experience what I did. They can learn to have love in their lives and not experience violence and child abuse and trauma at such a young ages. They can grow up as kids and have a good life and not have to know how hard it was for me. 

This may seem a little deep and serious, but it’s something that needs to be talked about and something that needs to be addressed. As my parents you should know what you have done, what you have said, and what you have put your children through and how it truly affects us. We may not talk about it, we may not hold you as accountable as you should be, because we love you and we forgive you. But it has changed us. And you should know that. 

Yes I am stronger for what I have been put through and what I have grown up with, but that doesn’t make life any easier for me. It makes me more resilient, but it also makes me more hardened. Through my career and my job I have learned compassion, I have learned understanding, and I have learned empathy. Maybe I was meant to be a healthcare worker so I could share my love with people. Even though at times it didn’t feel like I had received love myself. At least this has taught me how much your kids really rely on you and I can learn to be there for my children. Life is hard and as parents we hold our kids to such high standards at such young ages, that they don’t get to be kids.

I love my parents and I am so grateful for all the sacrifices you guys have done and that you have experience so that we could have a good life. I just hope that you are able to show your grandchildren love and compassion and be there for them so they can know you and love you as I have. Life is too short to be so serious and to be so caught up in the worldly things. It passes by so quickly that we often forget what the true meaning is and who the important people are.